As I lay in bed this morning while my pumpkin sleeps I think "self, you should lay here b/c you are very tired. you didn't get much sleep yesterday as you were packing for what seems like a trip around the world. self, you should lay here and enjoy some nice rest." Then the devil self steps in, "self, you need to get out of bed. You need to stop the mail, arrange for someone to water flowers, finish packing, clean the house, get things ready for work...blah blah blah -- do it now! While the pumpkin is sleeping!"
Who do you think won? It was a compromise. I laid there a bit longer, then forced myself out of bed. That nagging "I must do it" feeling was powerful. And I have to say -- that is my biggest enemy. Me and my devil self. That desire to accomplish tasks, cross off "to do" list items, and get things done. Now granted, we are leaving to go out of town for a long time so there is a huge list of things to be done -- but I do this to myself DAILY. Sometimes I really have to stop and think, "does this HAVE to be done RIGHT NOW?" And most things do not.
I think this will be my biggest struggle as a mother. Meeting my own personal goals, holding myself to crazy standards of near perfection, pleasing people - including myself and my husband and trying to "do it all." I know that I cannot do this forever and am aware of the problem. I suspect that many mothers have this problem. I know many of my friends are like myself and have that "I can do it all" attitude (isn't that what bonds us freaks all together?).
All that being said. I am SO looking forward to escaping this house for 11 days. For celebrating and sharing Isabella with family and friends. For being away from the routine of it all and hoping that brings somewhat of a break in things. When Ashley was here she said she felt really relaxed. She suspected it was just being away from "the list" of things to do -- and it was a welcome break. I am hoping that the next few days give me a welcome break!
When we return, we hope to establish a routine. Since we've had Bella, we've had countless visitors and out of town guests. While I LOVE that and LOVE seeing people -- it only adds to my list. Clean the house, change the sheets, get food for people. Etc. So, coming back to "real life" will be good b/c there aren't any visitors on the calendar and it will be a good chance for our family to find our rhythm. I am looking forward to that as well.
Have a happy day. Thanks for listening to my vent. I'd sure like to hear how other moms "do it all" or good strategies for cutting yourself some much needed slack!
Wow your going to be gone a long time. Enjoy yourselves, relax. Take all the extra hands when your away. Bella will be fine. So who are you going to see??? Doesn't matter just have fun. I can imagine how your getting your self before this trip. I too write lists then check them off as I put them in the car or pack them. *remember to have extra wipes in the car and tissues just in case your not real close to the diaper bag. I carried two diaper bags one large for car and a small one. Keep your self fuilded with water and green apples(they are a good pick me up when I travel-amood enhancer if you will). Well, I better let you go. I have some list to check off for our weekend trip to Pittsburgh. Have fun. Love ya.
Posted by: Aunt Cordi | Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 02:59 PM