Over the years I've been keeping my business going and establishing loyal and fabulous clients. Then there have been those harder years where babies kept sprouting each summer leaving me less time for photography, yet my heart was triple in size. No matter, my fire and passion for photography hasn't diminished in the least, in fact, it has grown.
Last year was my best year to date. That is SO EXCITiNG to me. My head is filled with possibility, ideas, hope, dreams and then a healthy dose of SELF DOUBT. We all have it and feel it. Sometimes it is a passing thought and other times it stops you in your tracks. Self doubt comes in many forms -- comparing yourself to others, wishing you were "good enough" or that evil monster envy!
In an attempt to free myself of that doubt and move forward, I'm having another baby. HA! Just kidding. Did you just freak out mom? :) hee hee. No but really, I had a desire in me to have another baby that I was tossing around this year too (seriously, don't keel over Mom). Do I really need all that more crazy up in here? Or was there a deeper need/want/desire in my heart? After a lot of soul searching (and did I mention my hubby turned 50 which actually DOES factor into baby making decisions! HA!) I decided to make my business, my baby. Nurture it, love it, grow it, celebrate its growth and milestones and document it along the way.
In that, I need to get rid of this self-doubt and comparison that things like Facebook and Pinterest encourage. Am I going to get rid of FB and Pinterest?!?! GASP! Never! I just need to focus on my baby and grow that in the right direction. That means taking care of myself, fostering my creative spirit and being kind to ME. What?!?!
So when an aquaintance of mine launched the DEFINE SCHOOL, I was more than intrigued. I checked out every class and athough all of them speak to me in some sort of way ... Awakening the Spark seemed like the perfect place to start. Today, I dove into the materials and already I feel giddy inside. Excited and fresh and on the edge of something cool.
I hope to share a bit along the way and I hope to evolve as not only a photographer but as a mother and wife and as a person. And if SOMEONE else decides that my spark does include a new little baby, then of course I'm open to that sweet little miracle too. (mom, seriously stop freaking out). We all know that I've made many plans in the past only for the good Lord to reveal Himself in a completely different way. I'm open to His work through me and seeing where this path leads.
For now, I'll just awaken my spark! :)