True Mom Confession #49

It was a rookie mistake.  One that I will for sure have learned from on the next go around.  What was my mistake this time around? NEVER LET YOUR CHILD PICK OUT THE BOOKS THAT you ARE GOING TO READ TO THE CLASS ON THEIR OWN.  On top of that .. for God's sake, if you ARE going to be that dumb at least take the time to PRE-READ them!!!

I said to Bella on Monday, "Pick out some books you'd like for me to read to your class when I come on Wednesday for I Love To Read month."  My thought process ... she's a big girl, she has a zillion choices, I should put this into her hands since I'm reading in her class.  Yep, those were my thoughts.  She picked out 3 books and set them on the counter.  I glanced at them -- a Fancy Nancy book I've read a bunch, a new Barbie book just purchased at the school Book Fair and Peter Pan (an old Little Golden book that probably came from my old stash or we inherited).

As the time to read drew close I gathered the books and stuffed them into my purse.  I arrived at the school and was quickly ushered in the room where the children were sitting nicely, criss-cross applesauce and ready to listen.

I cheerfully greeted the class and Bella introduced me.  I started with Fancy Nancy.  Big hit among the girls and the boys tolerated it and sat nicely.  Next Bella indicated I'd be reading Barbie.  Mike had read this book to her last week but I never asked about the book.  Not only were there words I wasn't sure how to pronounce, the PLOT was horrible and involved words like EVIL and spells and NO NICE THINGS.  In a Barbie book for God's sake.

I was sweating.  I got through that book and had a few minutes left.  I opened Peter Pan and noticed that it was LONG.  LOTS OF WORDS.  We'd be pushing time.  I started to read and guess what.  The Disney movie of Peter Pan is really sweet and endearing.  This story?!?!?  MEAN.   Tinkerbell doesn't like Wendy and doesn't WANT to help her.  Did you know that in the original story Peter Pan CUT OFF HOOKS HAND AND FED IT TO THE CROCODILE!??!?!?!?!!??!!?

Yep.  I was in deep with this book.  When I saw Peter Pan lying on my counter I had flowery visions of Tinkerbell and Peter Pan ... not hand cutting, sword fighting and wait for it ... INDIAN HUNTING.  FOR REAL.  I thought I was going to crap my pants right there.  I was skipping words left and right.  The teacher gave me the "wrap it up" signal from the back of the class and it made my job of making it up and skipping over terrible things easier!  I just MADE UP STUFF from the flowery movie version of Peter Pan!?!?!?

THE END couldn't come fast enough.  All I could do the whole time was CURSE MYSELF for not pre-reading the books or better yet --giving her 6 books to choose from that I had picked?!?!?!?!  I was super embarrassed.  I'm sure the teacher was half listening as she was trying to do MANY other things in the 15 minutes I was reading.  BUT STILL.  Dumb.  Dumb.  Dumb.

The kids?  Didn't know the difference.  Bella, just beamed that I was there.  Somehow all I could walk away thinking about were the abundance of fabulous, award-winning books that are at home on our shelves and I had just read her class TRASH.  It might have been better if I had just pulled out a Jackie Collins novel and called it done.

Live and learn people.  Hopefully though you can learn through my mistake on this one.  Then again, I'm sure you'd be much smarter than I was and actually TAKE TIME to read the books first or choose them yourselves!!!  File this under: LESSON LEARNED.

 

 

Comments

[Molly]

I'm very sorry for your plight, but this made me laugh. Way to wing it, Mama! :)

[Ash]

Jackie Collins!! Hilarious!

Hmm, the next true confession is #50...I hope it's gonna be REAL good :)

[Corrie]

I have learned over the past five years that there are a LOT of really awful children's books out there. We routinely return from the library with a stack of 20 books, and inevitably I will find myself in the middle of one or more of them, paraphrasing, summarizing, and getting it the hell over with! Good for you for being able to think on your feet.

[Kristen]

Typing through the tears... of laughter! I <3 you! (and I <3 TMCs!)