Ashley left a comment in my last True Mom Confession (TMC#49) mentioning that the next one was the big 5-0 and wondered what-oh-what could be big enough to warrant the spot of #50. I too wondered.
And I thought about making #50 a compilation of some of my "favorite confessions." That was what I intended to do...until today. Today, number 5-0, presented itself. :( And its a doozy.
The confession? In the spirit of letting my baby (so NOT a baby at over 2 1/2 now!) NOT climb into my bed every night I enlisted the ole "cry it out" principle. We've done this before and had success, then regressed with a sickness etc. I was determined last night. I haven't slept in ... well, YEARS. For real.
OKAY. The confession already!? I made my baby cry it out last night and this morning found him in PILES of vomit. Oops. And then I cried. Like sobbing I felt horrible-someone-is-going-to-revoke-my-mom-card crying.
How can something so simple go so wrong? I know, I know, I need a video monitor. Why is it that I need a video monitor more NOW with toddlers than with the babies?!?!? I just decided NOT to go in there when his crying began. It sounded NO different than all of the other nights he cries and I knew if I went to him and held his soft warm body in my arms ... well, I might just sneak him off to my bed for a snuggle. The cry-it-out was as much for ME as it was for HIM.
Now, did he wake up puking? Did he work himself up so much that he puked? I have no idea. That makes me feel even WORSE quite honestly.
He has been fine today for the most part, not warm and he has forgotten that he even cried last night. WHEW. As Mike reminded me as I was sobbing into the phone ... he's just 2, he doesn't even know. Today is a clean slate. Hmph. It didn't make me feel any better.
The big 5-0 confession literally wrote itself. Now the question you might be wondering ... what WILL I do tonight? Likely let him cry-it-out again. But also HIGHLY likely that I will tiptoe in and peek on him after all is settled down and quiet in there.
Sheesh. This mom business is HARD WORK! And for the record, no one came and revoked my mom card today! I'll call that a SUCCESS!
Been there, done that, and felt horrible too! I agree with your husband, he doesn't know and won't remember, even tonight. Be consistent! Good luck!
Posted by: Liz Cook | Wednesday, February 20, 2013 at 04:40 PM
It's a conspiracy against you, Sar. Doesn't being a mom feel like that sometimes? Like they know our weak points. We hold a firm line on something and then they're sick or something.
I'm sorry you felt badly...but Mike had the perfect words! I bet your baby boy even happily greeted you this morning.
Here's hoping for a great night sleep--for BOTH of you!
Posted by: ash | Wednesday, February 20, 2013 at 07:37 PM
oh friend, i'm so sorry. big hugs.
Posted by: melanie | Wednesday, February 20, 2013 at 09:01 PM
This EXACT same thing happened to us once with Francesca!! I felt terrible about it. But now I feel better knowing I have company. =)
Posted by: monica | Wednesday, February 20, 2013 at 10:56 PM