Feeling particularly yucky tonight. Hormones, agitated at the kids, frustrated and needing a serious break from them ... I lost my temper in a major way. I feel like I say the sky is blue, they say "no it's not, its gray." I say yes, they say no. I can do NO RIGHT lately. I feel at my wits end. I've said it before ... I have a very deep river of patience ... until I don't. Until it runs dry. Until it needs replenished from the ocean. How do I find that replenishment? Creative outlets, taking a break, physical activity, peace and quiet, getting my nails done, a visit with a friend and even tonight ... a Mike's Margarita.
Girls night on Friday cannot come soon enough. Perhaps it is the heals of Disney and ALL OF THE WORK that came with that and feeling no real "break" in normal on that trip. Perhaps it is just today. Or perhaps it is just the season of life right now. I feel so often I'm told "it gets easier" and yet ... seemingly, it doesn't. I start to feel like the bad is bigger than the good I am doing with them. I worry about the role I play on their hearts and minds. I worry about every aspect of being a mother.
Tonight, a friend shared this video. I sat in a heap of tears. I can only pray that if the camera were turned on my kids faces, they'd have magical things to say. Watch for yourself ...
Be sure to catch my Disney post on Day 2 below! :) "Two post Tuesday!" Yay me!