When we got married we made a pact. It is/was a pact that I was VERY FIRM about. The pact goes like this: "I, Mike Schneider, will hereby and forevermore be in charge of ALL puke cleanup in our household buy any future Schneider's. And I, Sara Schneider vow to always clean up any and all poop issues in our home forever and ever."
I thought it was a solid pact. I f'ing HATE VOMIT. I cannot even stomach my own vomit....it makes me vomit. You get the picture. Mike proclaimed that he really had no issue with cleaning up puke! AWESOME! A match made in heaven.
But then WE HAD KIDS. And kids are puking, farting, spit-up, pooping MACHINES. And guess what? They don't ONLY do it when Daddy is home...they do it mostly WHEN HE IS NOT. Even when they are not babies.
Fast forward to today where I officially made the call that Luke does IN FACT get motion sickness. I've suspected this for a long time after bouts of feeling sick after driving and a few mild puke incidents. Then today he rode the tire swing at the park for a LONG TIME. Afterwards he stumbled towards me and said "I don't feel so good." I said "Buddy, I think you are like Daddy and you get sick from moving things like that ..."
I stopped to get him a Sprite on the way home and he begged for a hot dog. It was lunch so everyone got lunch too and along we went home. I knew he was hungry and if Luke wants to eat, then I'm a happy camper.
We got home and I was unloading my car. My arms stuffed to the gills, Mike called to check in and two kids were screaming and Luke says "I just BARFED all over the garage steps!!!"
As I plugged my nose and singlehandedly cleaned up the the slimy orange barf and pieces of regurgitated hot dog off of my garage steps I couldn't help but think of that DAMN PACT we made all those years ago and how I got so completely screwed over. I mean, I could wait for him to get home and clean it up ... but that would be stinky, messy and even worse. That stupid pact was the kiss of death. I shouldn't have entered into such a terrible agreement ... especially while I was still blissfully unaware of all of the GROSSNESS that comes with CHILDREN.
Don't be alarmed if you get a baby gift from me that is: Clorox, a bucket, a pair of rubber gloves and a clothespin ... THOSE are truly the essentials of motherhood. THAT I can make a pact on! ;)